Diary of a single-minded Jester (The One behind the mask)
by Jesselynn Garcia
Summary: I cant explain the joy I feel when I hear them. Normally, I would jump and squeal for joy but now? Its very much different. Im not the same perky girl I used to be. I have become different now
1. A Change For the Better

"Congratulations, Harleen. You are now released from Arkham Aslyum."

_Those words…_

I cant explain the joy I feel when I hear them. Normally, I would jump and squeal for joy but now? Its very much different. Im not the same perky girl I used to be. The time I spent in Arkham has really given me time to think about everything. Yeah, I know Ive been doing this for a while. Every single time that I said I would change, I would always have to come back because I screwed it up like the idiot I am. Now it wont be like that again.

_I have become different now._

"Thank you." I pressed gently towards the doctor who sat politely against her desk, fingers folded as she studied me with a scrutinizing expression. I only stared back at her with a very contentious emotion on my face. I could see the look – dark, chocolate brown eyes in a slight narrow. It was almost like a glare, a deep scowl mixing into her facial features as she watched me with an attentive glance. It was lingering…I could feel her eyes boring into me to see if I would screw up at that moment. Im sure she was expecting that from me.

_Typical doctor._

They would do anything to put you back into that hell hole called 'Arkham'.

"Well then. I will see you around, Ms. Quinzel." The woman replied with a calming tone, standing from her chair and walking around to face me fully then leave the room without another word. I eyed her with a perked blonde brow. The way she sounded, made it seem like she knew she was going to see me sometime soon. I stood up and trailed carefully behind her but a bit away. I wanted to keep distance from her. My eyes moved to both sides of the transparent walls that laid for the prisoners of this screwed up facility. I could make out a few people: Jonathan Crane, Black Mask, Edward Enigma, Clayface and so many others…and then I saw 'him'.

The one I fell for. The one that I swore my life to. The one who gave me the most pain. The 'Clown Prince of Crime', himself. The Joker.

My own eyes narrowed strictly, the glare so obvious that I could see even the next door patient was surprised of the hatred that I emended towards the notorious villain. My blood boiled heavily, the rage in me was hard to explain. I was past enraged. I was absolutely furious. I could see the dark eyes that dilated towards me and all I could do was track his movements. He was hostile, well he wasn't always that way. He knew how to escape the place. He was practically a master at that.

"Harley…" The voice was so raspy but mediocrely pitched before a cackle echoed through the walls of the cell. It was haunting…My whole body turned to the man on the other side of sanity. I was relived of the fact that there was at least something blocking me from wrapping my slender fingers around his neck and—

"What." My voice was harsh, the way I wanted it to sound. I was pissed! Could you idiots blame me! Why the hell didnt anyone smack some fucking sense into me!? Oh yeah…

_I under his fucking spell…_

All the beatings I took from day one of becoming a punching back for this man gave me no help whatsoever. I believed I was forever placed in an unholy stature of love for this man. At least, not until now. May god smite me now if I was lying to you all in the face.

"My dear Harley…Come and help your 'puddin', hm?" He asked with a bit of interest and sweetness that I knew would normally make me swoon over him. This man always knew how to push my buttons to do whatever he wanted. He had a knack for that too and just like anything chaotic, it was part of the plan.

"Why should I!? After everything you've done!" I practically yelled at him, my fists curling in an attempt to keep from trying to break down the glass with my bare hands. I just got released; I really didn't want to be put back for something like this. Then there was a silence between us that seemed like an eternity. A silence that would mean trouble. I could hear the ticking from the imaginary clock that was placed in my head and I didn't like it.

Until the manically laughter began again.

"Because you belong to me!" He claimed with the widest grin that smeared across his red covered lips. It sickened me because in truth? I did, in some way. How? I don't think I need to really explain it if you guys know about my past with him.

"It wont happen again! I'll take you down and lock you back into Arkham for good if I find you wreaking havoc again, you son of a bitch!"

"Ohohoho~ Is that a challenge, Harley, dear?~" He questioned with a thoughtful look on his face. It seemed like nothing fazed him and frankly? Im sure it didn't. The only thing that truly ticked him off was that one person who he couldn't live without. I couldn't stand him now.

What I would do to slice that grin off his face.

"You are nothing without me. Absolutely nothing. We both know that." His words struck a chord with me in such a hated manner that I would've done anything and everything to skin that man alive with my own fingers. No…I needed to show restraint with my actions. Even if he did piss me off to the highest degree, I had changed. I wasnt the same little pathetic lackey that I was back then.

Let me explain, hm?

While in my full year of Arkham, after the last crime I had committed which was blasting into a charity auction and holding a gun to the mayor of Gotham, I had a very surprising visit from the hero who locked my ass up in the same cell as always. We had talked for a long while about a few things—a lot of them seemed to be personal and had really gotten to me.

'Why are you really doing this?'

_For the man I loved._

'What about him do you really love?'

_Everything…Whats not 'ta love?_

'Has he done anything to make you really happy?'

_…No…_

'Do you really think he loves you?'

_...No._

'Then why do it if you know?'

_Because…because…..I don't…know…_

With that it really did have me thinking this time. Bats said he would visit me again and it was only a week later till he did. He was giving me time to come back to my senses. Every week for the first 3 months, he had come to talk to me. Those weeks became every few days and then it became back to back for last few months of my sentence. In the end, my common sense was back to normal and I could see what was finally wrong with me. It wasn't really me to begin with….it was 'him'.

The last day he talked to me, he offered two deals. One of them was: I stop causing crime for good and I could train under him once I felt I needed it. It was an option really though Im pretty certain that he knew that I was going to change for good. I took it with a silent nod and that memory had stayed with me till I heard I was being released from the Asylum. Even though I never took it, I still kept the deal in mind.

The second deal? Ill keep that one to myself.

"Fuck off, you low-life clown! I'll show you different!" I yelled out, my own voice bellowing in its self-induced echo. My fists met first against the glass in a harsh thud. It didn't break the entrance; it only made it shift slightly in the minds to break it. Damn this man! I'd kill him for everything he did to me!

His words were so agonizingly true that I wanted to just waste myself away for all the stupidity I had set my own mind into with this man. He would make me cower, fall to his knees and do what he could to get me to do what he pleased. Sadly, it had somewhat of the same effect on me as it always did and just as I was about to give a full punch to the barrier between me and my…former partner, there was a hand that touched my shoulder. It startled me quickly and when I jolted my body to turn and look over to the figure, I tensed instantly when I saw the bulky, leanness of the man who stood in front of me. His cowl was put securely on his face, the pointed ears and the 'seemingly' light suit he wore. That is until you actually fight the man then it looks like there's a fucking arsenal in that damn belt of his. The bat signal perfectly stitched onto the suit in a prideful gesture. Yeah yeah, everyone knew who this man was.

The one and only.

Batman.

The only difference was this time—he was looking at me with a slightly concerned look. It wasn't a smirk that meant something underneath and hell, I wouldn't even know what he was thinking if he was anyway. He was calm and not….trying to threaten me? Wow, weird but whatever. Slowly, I pushed his hand off my shoulder and looked at him with a sigh of hopelessness. He must've heard the conversation we had. I didnt really care but as soon as he lifted his head to look at the madman with a forming suspicious look of his own, I was walking away- down the hallway with a heated face and a chest tightening in anger. I couldn't lose my chance now. From that, I could feel him watch me as I left the area. I didn't speak another word as I pushed myself through the entrance of the wretched place I once called home.

My footsteps were light in every movement I made, the path diminishing behind me for the last time. Never again would I walk down this facility like it was a home nor would I have to deal with the Intensive care or others who wanted to break me out in a massive heap. I was going to start a new life and make a different decision that I had wanted to make since the beginning of this whole god-forsaken fiasco.

The night air was lightly breezy, my bangs flowing with its direction against the bright blue irises that I carried. My eyes closed, losing myself in the sweet, sweet sense of freedom and my final stand in being in the Asylum. This wouldn't happen to me again. I gave one last look at the place I spent a decent amount of my life in and then I realized in complete depth.

I was actually free.

As I looked back, my lips curved into a faint smile at the victorious thought. I would never be put back in this place again. I guess it really didn't hit me until now…and you know what? I was really happy with that perfectly known fact. That last look I gave made me soon frown. In a way, I was a bit more scared that I was going to fuck everything up like I always did and where did I end up?

In Arkham Asylum all over again.

Okay, maybe I was more than scared. I was terrified. What exactly would I be able to do on my own? I took me a year to try and figure that out what I was going to finally do with my life once I was out of the Asylum and eventually I came with the right answer. I was going to leave the City and restart my life from the beginning.

With that, I headed home and let myself go. From my past mistakes and from the man who caused me nothing but pain and trouble for most of my life.

I finally walked away.

From everyone who stayed in Arkham and that was how it was going to stay.

* * *

_Hello, everyone! Sorry Ive been away for so long~ Ill be working on a new series and updating every week. _

_Hope you all like it~_

- _**Aurora Phantomhive**_


	2. A Brand New Profession

- Years later -

Years had passed since my last visit to Arkham and I had gone to go see the others who I deemed as 'close companions'. So Red, Crane and a few others, I would see every now and again. Sometimes I would even go to see 'him' just to see if he was settled in the Asylum still. I didn't want him to be capable of escaping this place. He deserved anything he had coming to him. Anyone in Gotham knew that for sure. He was just a waste of space but what kind of actual purpose did he have? I knew the reason, unfortunate to me.

It didn't matter, as long I didn't fall for that crap again. Sometimes he would say something but I would never respond to him. What was there to really say to him? I had no clue and nor did I want to look for the answer either. I would see that sickening smile and it would just stay there! He knew I was watching him, checking up on him and from those last 6 months, he seemed to not even want to show any interest in escaping for whatever twisted idea he had in his head. There was always a plan that he had made as an 'in-case'. Maybe he was just bored? No, that couldn't be it at all. He was definitely plotting something.

_I knew this man all too well ._

So since that last visit, I left Gotham.

After the first 4 years that had went by like almost nothing, a lot had actually changed since then. Bats had been missing or that's what Ive been hearing around as the juiciest gossip, or more like he had a very important mission to take care of and had been gone for more than a year. The other Birds had been around in the city to take care of the crime rate but it had only seemed to get worse and worse over the passing time and while Bats was gone, I had left the City for almost the same amount of time for a journey.

I had been gone for about the majority of the 7 years. When the second year came to, I had left with a group that had trained me for a 2 year period. It was relentless but from all that training, I learned a lot .

My mentor?

None other than the infamous _Floyd Lawton._ Or in other words: _Deadshot._ Yes, I knew this was a bit of a stretch and a strange decision but I wanted this because he could help me. Thus all that training helped create the new generation _Suicide Squad_. Once the two years had gone by as followed, I was still associated with them but I had moved on for the last year on my own to become a mercenary. I had gone solo for another 3 years and had taken jobs in assassinating many people. From released prisoners to big shot corporates heads to the highest level of authorities like senators and representatives of different states.

From all of that solo business, I had earned a lot of money and bought myself several apartments and houses in different states as a precaution if I was ever needed. So through that occupation, I had gone by to the Squad for the last 2 remaining years. With that all being said and done, I had gone through missions but kept the optional job of being a mercenary with the people who actually needed my specialty in that category.

When I came back to the squad, the last missions I had done were worth more money than I could chew off. Hell, it was more money than the Joker had ever stolen in Gotham history. All that money that we split, I brought it home and stashed it away for future needs. Oh yes, I was making sure that I was fully prepared for a lot of things. I finally left the group once again when I heard the news that Joker had finally escaped from the Asylum. After 7 years of doing nothing. NOTHING. He had finally made his move and that meant that I had to too.

Reluctantly, Floyd let me go. I was grateful but he kept my membership in so if he needed me, he knew how to get my attention. Leaving out of the states and back towards Gotham wasn't too hard of a process. I didn't have anything to bring except for the new clothes I had and the weapons that were securely strapped to the holsters on my body. I travelled from Washington and back towards Gotham, finally reaching the borderline that gave a welcoming sign: 'Welcome to Gotham City'. I spat at the sign in near disgust.

"More like 'Welcome to the home for the loonys'." I muttered with a shake of my head. As I walked into the darkened city, only the flickering lights from the lamppost gave any sort of helpful sight to the the place that I called my home. Trash acted as the tumble weeds to define the silence of the moved away citizens. They had all retired for the night, which was good. Slowly, my eyes turned to see the area with a watchful glance. It seemed worse than it had been since I left and for what? To see the city practically burning in ruins to the villains that plagued it. I wouldn't have it. Then there were also a few questions in mind.

'_How did this happen?'_

'_Where were the Birds of the City?'_

'…_..Where was the Joker?'_

I saw a few people pass by, the ragged clothing and smug grins as they looted a bag of money—probably from the bank. That was my best guess. My eyes narrowed slightly, the annoyance of seeing them run away and pretend like no one would hunt them down like prey, irritated me. Oh no, they were definitely in for it this time. There was no Bat, no Bird in sight at the moment. What kind of hero just leaves their territory to rot? Was no one helping the city? What about the Police Force? Didn't seem like they were nowhere to be found. Sad really… Did they finally give up?

_What a shame._


End file.
